Cheryl Cole ‘refusing to sign new £1mn X Factor contract’

London, May 20 (ANI): Girls Aloud member Cheryl Cole is said to have refused to sign her new 1million pounds X Factor contract until she knows who will replace co-judge Dannii Minogue.

Cole, 26, also wants a promise that her pregnant pal Minogue will not be permanently replaced.

Minogue, 38, will miss out on the auditions stage when it starts next month, and producers plan to have guest judges to fill in for her alongside 50-year-old Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh, 57.

“It’s getting very close to the start of The X Factor auditions and Cheryl has not yet signed on the dotted line,” the Daily Star quoted a show source as saying.

“It would ruin her X Factor experience not to have another ‘girly girl’ like Dannii to laugh and joke with and gang up with against the lads.

“There’s been talk about Mel B whom Cheryl is quite frightened of.

“She is also mindful of the fact any youngsters may try to upstage her in the fashion stakes,” the source added.

All the judges are set for a showdown meeting at Cowell’s London mansion next week, and Minogue, who is back in Australia and due to give birth in July, will join them via a conference call.

The new series of The X Factor is scheduled for August. (ANI)

BBC radio DJ suspended over Queen death joke

London, May 19 (ANI): A BBC radio DJ has been suspended for a week for cracking a joke about the death of the Queen on a live radio show.

Danny Kelly, 39, who was hosting his regular afternoon show between 2pm and 4pm on Monday, made the most shocking joke to listeners, reports the Daily Express.

The BBC apologized for the ‘inappropriate remark about the Queen’ on Monday night but it has emerged that Kelly was suspended from his job for a week as punishment.

Kelly, who has worked for 10 years in local radio, used his BBC WM show, based in Birmingham, to make the joke live on air. (ANI)

Kate Hudson, Cameron Diaz ”engaged in fierce catfight over A-Rod”

New York, May 14 (ANI): Hollywood beauties Kate Hudson and Cameron Diaz are engaged in an embittered battle to win over Yankee slugger Alex Rodriguez, it has emerged.

Diaz is said to be sleeping with Rodriguez to pay back Hudson who started romancing Justin Timberlake in January 2007, just days after Diaz split with him.

“Kate thinks it”s payback, pure and simple,” the New York Post quoted a source as telling Us Weekly.

According to one of Diaz”s pals, “Cameron was actually in a serious long-term relationship with Justin. She thinks it”s a joke Kate would be mad. Kate is only upset because she hates being single.”

Diaz was seen leaving Rodriguez”s Central Park West penthouse with bags on May 2, fuelling rumours that she was dating him.

Hudson dated A-Rod last year and attended every home playoff game as the Yankees won the World Series.

According to an insider, Hudson was so desperate for A-Rod that she even got breast implants to hold on to him, but it didn”t work. (ANI)

Calamity Crozier, Scotland’s most accident-prone woman, collects £1k!

London, May 12 (ANI): A woman, who has been named as Scotland’s most accident-prone person, seems to have a had a change of luck after she beat more than 100 other clumsy Scots to win the title and 1,000 pounds.

Lorraine Crozier, 35, from Motherwell, North Lanarkshire, nicknamed Calamity Crozier, has suffered more than 20 serious accidents as well as countless bumps, trips and falls.

Her injuries include a broken coccyx, ruptured knee ligaments, fractured elbow, chipped collarbone, dislocated shoulder, and four broken toes – despite the fact she once worked as a health and safety investigator.

Crozier, who has a two-year-old daughter Hannah, is so accident-prone that on one occasion she damaged her shoulder walking into a lamppost on her way to the optician’s.

“I entered the competition as a bit of a joke to prove to my friends that something good could come of all of my accidents. I never believed I’d win,” the Scotsman quoted Crozier as saying. (ANI)

Secret behind 100-year-old Mr Binge’s long life: a glass of whisky every day!

London, May 5 (ANI): Centenarian Ted Binge, a former railwayman who lives in Armana House Care Centre in York with wife Irene, 91, swears a tot of whisky everyday is the secret of his long life.

The great-great grandfather gets through half a bottle of whisky every week. He has a glass in the morning and another before bedtime.

Binge, who has been taking his daily nip for 82 years, celebrated his landmark birthday last week, reports The Daily Express.

Ted said: “It’s beautiful, wonderful stuff. I love it. It’s never done me any harm, maybe they should put it on prescription.

“I had my first taste of it as a young man, when I had a bit of a cold and my father gave me a nip of whisky saying, ‘that will make you feel better’.

“It did the trick and I liked it, so I started having a glass on a morning. I like it straight, as it should be. I always say work as long as you can because it’s good for you. I love to have a laugh and a joke, sometimes a bit of a sing, it keeps you going.”

His daughter June Ogden, 67, said: “He’s wonderful, the whole family love him to bits. He has had a hard life, he lifted heavy sleepers on the railways for 37 years. But you would never know it to look at him, he’s barely got any wrinkles.

“My parents have rooms next to each other, it’s lovely that they can be together. She always goes to bed earlier than him and in the morning she says ‘have you been out on the town drinking whisky again?’.

“She only lets him have a little tot in the morning, but when she goes to bed he sneaks in another quick glass.”

Ted’s favourite whisky is Bell’s but he is also partial to Glenfiddich or Glenmorangie. (ANI)

Couple’s joke on winning unclaimed $15m, turns out to be own bounty!

Sydney, May 4 (ANI): A Brisbane couple is said to have joked about winning an unclaimed lotto, only to find out that it was their ticket that had won the 15 million dollars Powerball prize in the first place.

The two had not bothered to check their numbers after someone mistakenly told them the mystery winner, who bought the ticket in Toombul, had been found, reports the Sydney Morning Herald.

The couple, aged in their 30s, who want to remain anonymous, say the reality of their enormous win is still sinking in.

They plan to give some of their winnings to their parents.

They had bought the same type of ticket as the other 15 million dollar winner in the draw – a 12 game Quick Pick worth 8.35 dollar. (ANI)

Tiger Woods’ ‘black guy condom’ pick up joke

New York, May 4 (ANI): Professional golfer Tiger Woods is said to have a joke that he has been using successfully as a pick-up line for at least a decade.

Woods, 34, told the joke in 1997 in front of a GQ reporter, and even though he took flak for it then, he was still using it in 2006 when he hit on exotic dancer Cori Rist.

“What’s this?” the New York Post quoted him as having asked while rubbing the tips of his shoes together.

“A black guy taking off his condom,” he would reply.

Rist, who became one of Woods’ many mistresses, said he then invited her to come up to the apartment of a “superstar ball player”, where he had a room. (ANI)

Arnie denies ‘fluffer” job claim

London, Apr 30 (ANI): Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger has dismissed reports that he once worked as a “fluffer” on the sets of pornographic films.

The Austrian-born actor and politician had made a joke during an interview that it had been his worst ever job.

However, a spokesman for Schwarzenegger denied the claims, insisting that the 62-year-old had been joking, reports The Telegraph.

The rep asserted that Schwarzenegger was speaking hypothetically, naming the task – which involves arousing male porn stars before a performance – as the worst job possible.

The governor’s remarks came during an interview with James Lipton at Chelsea Piers in New York.

The New York Post reported that when asked what his favourite job was, the Terminator star said: “English teacher.”

Lipton then asked: “Least favourite job?” to which Schwarzenegger replied: “Fluffer.” (ANI)

Have more sex to avoid illness, Brazilians told

London, Apr 27 (ANI): Engage regularly in physical exercise, and particularly in sexual intercourse, to fight off chronic illness, Brazil’s health minister has advised the general public.

“People need to be active. A weekend football game must not be the only physical activity for a Brazilian. Adults need to do exercise: walk, dance and have safe sex,” said Jose Gomes Temporao.

It was while launching a campaign to prevent high blood pressure, that the minister gave the advice, reports The Telegraph.

Temporao then defended his promotion of sexual intercourse to journalists, according to the G1 news website.

“It”s not a joke. It”s serious. Having regular physical exercises also means sex, always with protection of course,” he said.

“Dancing, having sex, keeping weight under control, changing dietary habits, doing physical exercise” all help keep blood pressure down, he said. (ANI)

Glassing left 12cm facial scar, court told

A committal hearing in Alice Springs has been told a man cannot wrinkle his forehead to make some facial expressions after he was glassed in Alice Springs last year.

The alleged victim, Darcy James Collins, says he was walking into an Alice Springs tavern when Christopher Charles Blacker blocked his path and said he was going to break a glass in his face.

Mr Collins told the court he thought it was joke but as he tried to walk inside, it is alleged Blacker smashed a pint glass into his forehead.

The court heard the impact caused a 12-centimetre gash that required up to 50 stitches.

As a result of the incident, Mr Collins is scarred and can no longer wrinkle his forehead.

The court heard Mr Collins had been drinking, did not stay overnight in hospital even though he was asked to and did not report the alleged incident for five weeks.

The hearing continues.

John Cleese pays £3,300 taxi fare from Oslo to Brussels!

London, April 17 (ANI): English actor John Cleese is said to have reportedly paid 3,300 pounds as taxi fare from Oslo to Brussels after he was stranded in the Norwegian capital by the volcanic ash plume from Iceland.

Cleese, 70, was in Norway to appear on the Scandinavian talk show Skavlan, and when the cloud descended, closing airspace around the city, he is said to have taken a cab on April 16.

“We checked every option, but there were no boat and no train tickets available,” the Guardian quoted him as telling Norwegian TV2 in a telephone interview posted on the network’s website.

“That’s when my fabulous assistant determined that the easiest thing would be to take a taxi,” he said.

The taxi carried two extra drivers for the 930-mile journey.

“It will be interesting. I’m not in a hurry,” Cleese said, adding that from Brussels he planned to take the Eurostar train to London, where he hoped to arrive on April 17.

“I will think about a joke you’ve probably already heard: how do you get God to laugh? Tell him your plans,” he added. (ANI)

Young Liberal in Obama ‘monkey’ Twitter scandal to be expelled

Brisbane, Apr.16 (ANI): A young Liberals’ member who called Barack Obama a “monkey” on Twitter during the US President’s interview on the ABC will be expelled, says the Queensland Liberal National Party (LNP).

The tweets, from an account belonging to Nick Sowden, a medical student at the University of Queensland, began just after 7.30pm AEST last night, during ABC TV’s 7.30 Report with Kerry O’Brien.

Sowden said his comments were taken out of context. He said it was a joke between friends.

“I think the people follow me know (it’s a joke) and the people who are my friends know and the people on Twitter don’t unfortunately,” he said.

I don’t think Obama is a monkey. You can’t be a monkey and be President of the United States.”

When asked if he’d apologise, he said: “Yes, sure, why not.”

Sowden said he shut down his Twitter account because he didn’t want any more tweets taken out of context.

The LNP held a meeting today to discuss Mr Sowden’s actions and found that he had brought the Party into disrepute.

The party said it “resolves to expel him from the Liberal National Party”. (ANI)

Brit Mayor apologizes for comparing illegal immigrants to sperm on Facebook

London, Apr 16(ANI): Great Torrington Mayor, Sue Mills, has made a public apology for posting a joke on her Facebook page comparing illegal immigrants to sperm.

lls wrote: “Illegal immigrants are like sperm – millions of them come in, but only one works.”

While apologizing for the comment, the 50-year-old said: “I accept the comments on my page were out of character and never intended to cause offence.”It was intended as a bit of fun and not designed to upset anyone. I wish to publicly apologize for this mistake and deeply regret any upset I may have caused,” The Telegraph quoted Mills, as saying.

Supporting the Mayor, town clerk Michael Tyghe said: “I have known Sue for sometime now and one thing she is not is racist. This is just a regrettable mistake in my opinion.”

Mills has been on Great Torrington Town Council for seven years and became Mayor in May 2009. (ANI)

Brit teacher cleared of seducing 16-year-old pupil

London, April 16 (ANI): A British schoolteacher has expressed her elation after being cleared of seducing a 16-year-old pupil.

A pupil had accused Hannah McIntyre, 25, of taking his virginity after a series of drunken games of dare at her flat where he had gone with two friends.

The incident was alleged to have happened after the sixth former, now an 18-year-old university student, visited McIntyre at her flat with two friends “for a laugh”.

He claimed they shared a passionate kiss after she bought them cider and joined in a game of dares as they chatted and watched TV one Friday night in January 2008.

He added that he later followed her to bed where they had sex. Yet he failed to report the incident for 11 months.

“It was the first time I had had sex. I was pretty down about it,” the Daily Express quoted him as telling the jury at Liverpool Crown Court.

But McIntyre gave a different account of that night and told of an evening of terror.

“They barged in. They were very loud and boisterous. They were invading my space – going through my possessions and mocking anything they could find,” she said.

“I asked them to leave but they did not take any notice. I was trying to be non-confrontational – not trying to provoke anything,” she revealed.

She said she told them she had to go to the shop in the hope that they would leave but they followed her and persuaded her to buy them cider.

Even then they did not leave her alone but followed her back to her flat. She claimed the boy then followed her to bed and made sexual grunting and sighing noises as a joke.

“The next thing I knew I was being kissed by him. I was not aware of any discussions. I was just stunned to start with and then pretty repulsed,” she stated.

After a four-day trial, a jury took just 75 minutes on April 15 to clear McIntyre, of Waterloo, Liverpool, of unlawful sexual activity with a child while in a position of trust.

Immediately after the verdict, Judge Robert Warnock told her she was free to leave the dock and she ran into the arms of her boyfriend Richard and parents Irene and Harry.

“I am ecstatic at the verdict. Right now I never want to be in the company of a school pupil for the entirety of my life. I need to have a large drink and sleep for a week,” she said outside court.

She was asked if she was angry to have been put through such an ordeal.

“I do not think anger is the first thing on my mind but he has, without any accountability, made this accusation. I would like him to realise what effect this has had on me,” she said. “I had a job that I loved, that I do not have. I had a reputation which was good, which I do not have,” she stated.

McIntyre taught her accuser at the 8,000 pounds-a-year Merchant Taylors’ Boys’ School in Crosby, Merseyside, one of the best-performing independent schools in the country. (ANI)

Brit Mayor apologizes for comparing illegal immigrants to sperm on Facebook

London, Apr 16(ANI): Great Torrington Mayor, Sue Mills, has made a public apology for posting a joke on her Facebook page comparing illegal immigrants to sperm.

Mills wrote: “Illegal immigrants are like sperm – millions of them come in, but only one works.”

While apologizing for the comment, the 50-year-old said: “I accept the comments on my page were out of character and never intended to cause offence.”

“It was intended as a bit of fun and not designed to upset anyone. I wish to publicly apologize for this mistake and deeply regret any upset I may have caused,” The Telegraph quoted Mills, as saying.

Supporting the Mayor, town clerk Michael Tyghe said: “I have known Sue for sometime now and one thing she is not is racist. This is just a regrettable mistake in my opinion.”

Mills has been on Great Torrington Town Council for seven years and became Mayor in May 2009. (ANI)

Brit teacher cleared of seducing 16-year-old pupil

London, April 16 (ANI): A British schoolteacher has expressed her elation after being cleared of seducing a 16-year-old pupil.

A pupil had accused Hannah McIntyre, 25, of taking his virginity after a series of drunken games of dare at her flat where he had gone with two friends.

The incident was alleged to have happened after the sixth former, now an 18-year-old university student, visited McIntyre at her flat with two friends “for a laugh”.

He claimed they shared a passionate kiss after she bought them cider and joined in a game of dares as they chatted and watched TV one Friday night in January 2008.

He added that he later followed her to bed where they had sex. Yet he failed to report the incident for 11 months.

“It was the first time I had had sex. I was pretty down about it,” the Daily Express quoted him as telling the jury at Liverpool Crown Court.

But McIntyre gave a different account of that night and told of an evening of terror.

“They barged in. They were very loud and boisterous. They were invading my space – going through my possessions and mocking anything they could find,” she said.

“I asked them to leave but they did not take any notice. I was trying to be non-confrontational – not trying to provoke anything,” she revealed.

She said she told them she had to go to the shop in the hope that they would leave but they followed her and persuaded her to buy them cider.

Even then they did not leave her alone but followed her back to her flat. She claimed the boy then followed her to bed and made sexual grunting and sighing noises as a joke.

“The next thing I knew I was being kissed by him. I was not aware of any discussions. I was just stunned to start with and then pretty repulsed,” she stated.

After a four-day trial, a jury took just 75 minutes on April 15 to clear McIntyre, of Waterloo, Liverpool, of unlawful sexual activity with a child while in a position of trust.

Immediately after the verdict, Judge Robert Warnock told her she was free to leave the dock and she ran into the arms of her boyfriend Richard and parents Irene and Harry.

“I am ecstatic at the verdict. Right now I never want to be in the company of a school pupil for the entirety of my life. I need to have a large drink and sleep for a week,” she said outside court.

She was asked if she was angry to have been put through such an ordeal.

“I do not think anger is the first thing on my mind but he has, without any accountability, made this accusation. I would like him to realise what effect this has had on me,” she said.

“I had a job that I loved, that I do not have. I had a reputation which was good, which I do not have,” she stated.

McIntyre taught her accuser at the 8,000 pounds-a-year Merchant Taylors” Boys” School in Crosby, Merseyside, one of the best-performing independent schools in the country. (ANI)

Qatari diplomat released after shoe bomb scare

A Qatari diplomat has been released from custody in the US after an incident on a flight from Washington to Denver yesterday.

Two F-16 jets were scrambled to intercept the United Airlines plane and escort it to land safely at Denver airport.

Investigators were told Mohammed al-Madadi had been found smoking in the plane’s toilet and made a joke that he had been trying to light his shoes – an apparent reference to “shoe bomber” Richard Reid.

Qatar’s ambassador says the incident was a “mistake”.

‘Moody, homesick’ Watson nears Australia

Teen sailor Jessica Watson admits she has been struggling emotionally as her journey nears its end, with less than 400 nautical miles to go until she reaches Australia.

The 16-year-old from Queensland’s Sunshine Coast is attempting to be the youngest person to sail solo around the world.

On Monday, Watson dealt with gale-force winds of up to 45 knots and extremely rough seas, dampening her mood for the next few days.

“Even though the conditions weren’t at all the worst we’ve been through, for some reason or another the uncomfortable motion and my damp bunk really got to me, making me pretty moody and a little homesick,” she wrote in her latest blog.

“Normally I can pull myself out of a bad mood in a few hours tops, but this time I didn’t have the energy and managed to be grouchy for a full few days, a voyage record!

“But it only took a proper meal and some good progress to get me back to my normal self and singing away [very badly] at the top of my voice to my current favourite song, Forever Young.”

Even Easter eggs could not help lift the teen’s spirits.

“Turns out that no-one remembered to pack any Easter eggs for me, but it wasn’t the end of the world because I’ve got more than enough chocolate,” she said.

In a recent video diary, recorded on March 20, Watson also confessed to feeling homesick.

“Australia’s sure creeping up on us now,” she said.

“I joke about wanting to do a second lap and wanting to do it all again straight away, but to be honest I think I am ready to come home now.

“Love it out here still but I think enough is enough.”

In just a few days Watson will reach Cape Leeuwin, the most south-westerly mainland point of Australia.

From there it is about 2,000 nautical miles to Tasmania and a further 500 nautical miles to Sydney.

If things continue going to plan, she will arrive in Sydney at the start of next month when swarms of supporters will be cheering her on.

Jesse James’ mistress Michelle McGee calls Chelsea Handler ”transsexual”

New York, Apr 1 (ANI): Michelle McGee, the model who first came out in the open to reveal her affair with Sandra Bullock’s husband Jesse James, has blasted talk show host Chelsea Handler over her rather unfriendly comments and called her ”transsexual”.

Handler, 35, wrote on her blog that “Jesse James” first alleged mistress, Michelle McGee, is being supported emotionally by her father.”

In a recent interview, Denny McGee said that Michelle really believed that Sandra and Jesse were separated and was ”shocked” to see them together at the Oscars.

“I guess she doesn”t read magazines, which makes sense since she basically has one on her face,” the New York Daily News quoted Handler as saying on her blog.

However, McGee, 32, didn”t take the joke too kindly and took to her Facebook page to bash Handler.

“Chelsea, heres some free advice..use some of that botox from your forehead and put it in your flabby underarm skin. Ive seen better wings in a bucket of KFC chicken,” she wrote.

Soon after, McGee added an underhanded compliment, saying: “In all seriousness, Im a big fan of Chelsea Lately…feel so honoured to have a transexual poke fun of me…” (ANI)

Lohan’s Twitter war with Lopez over ‘powder feet’ joke

New York, Mar 31 (ANI): ‘Mean Girls’ star Lindsay Lohan has got into a Twitter war with comedian George Lopez after he made fun of the bizarre white powder that was recently spotted coming out of her shoes.

Lohan, 23, was photographed on March 27 leaving a friend’s home in Los Angeles with mysterious clouds of dust billowing from her designer shoes.

On March 29 when Lopez, 48, jokingly claimed on his show that Lohan uses baby powder to loosen her tight high heels, the remark sparked a furious reaction from the star.

“Thanks for the childish comment regarding baby powder in my shoes to loosen up the leather,” the New York Daily News quoted her writing on her Twitter.com page.

“Don’t you have kids? U wouldn’t wanna hear that about them, or would you? Act like a grown man, have some respect and dignity for yourself,” she stated.

In response to Lohan’s furious post, Lopez asked her to visit his show.

“You want me to stop talking about you I will,” he tweeted.

“Come and tell me … To my face … I’ll stop!! Respectfully,” he added. (ANI)